Sleep

Have you ever been so exhausted you thought you would lose your mind? Sleep deprivation is real and it impacts every area of your mental health. Being a little tired is different from being overwhelmed by lack of sleep. For many people, sleep is an area that they can control. It’s important to take the necessary steps to get enough sleep every night. A good sleep schedule goes a long way. Start by turning off technology devices an hour before bed. Avoid caffeine in the afternoon and evening. Make your room cooler and darker. Think about a cave. If needed, sleep with an eye mask to block out more of the light. Teens have the hardest time overcoming sleep deprivation with all of the distractions in the modern world, if you or someone you know is struggling with this problem consider seeing a teen mental health therapist.

Make Lists

If your mind is always on overdrive trying to remember all the things that need to get done at home or at work, start by making lists. Lists help relieve the stress and pressure of trying to remember everything. A good notes app can come with you anywhere so no matter what you need to think about later, you won’t forget. Putting it down means that your mind will be freed to think about other things and you won’t need to fret about it anymore.

Make Time For a Hobby

I know this sounds crazy, but if men can take time to go golfing on the weekends, us ladies can have a hobby too. Whether you enjoy crafting, hiking, drinking craft beer, or finding interesting things to photograph, a hobby will give you something fun to do. We are wired for fun. Our brain needs the dopamine it gets from you doing something enjoyable.

Get Physically Active

Want to relieve stress and improve your mental health? It’s important to get outside and get physically active. You can do this by walking every day on your breaks at work, going outside with friends after work, or going to the gym. No one exercise is better than another. It’s just important to get moving daily. The happy hormones help your brain and your mental health, so put on your Skort with Pockets and trainers and get moving!

Eat Nutritious Foods

I’m going to say it. If you want better mental health, you need to eat better. It’s because healthy foods nourish your body and your brain and have a direct impact on how you feel every day. Eat from all the food groups, eat colorful fruits and vegetables, and reduce your sugar and processed food intake and you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel. Not only can a poor diet impact your mental health, it affects your physical health as well. Poor diet is also linked to hair loss and other hormonal issues.

Let It Go

So, she had a snarky tone with you. What if it wasn’t about you? It’s important not to take everything so personally. If you have a problem with people, learn to work it out and then let it go. Holding on to issues only weighs you down. Clinics like Serenity Mental Health Centers understand this. They offer a range of treatments, from medication management to therapies like TMS and ketamine, to help individuals manage their mental health and find balance. By letting go, you create space for healing and growth.

Foster Positive Relationships

Sometimes it’s important to let go of relationships with people who bring you down. Find relationships and people who build you up and don’t tear you down. Positive relationships have a great effect on how you feel and how you perceive the world.

Practice Gratitude

If you only ever think about the things that are bad, you’ll only ever notice the bad. But by practicing gratitude either by writing it down or saying it out loud daily, you shift your mindset and your perspective. You start to see the world through a different lens and your mind is better able to handle the challenges that come its way. Gratitude has a powerful effect on mental health and practicing it daily can make a big difference. It changes your mind in good ways.

The post Simple Habits For Better Mental Health appeared first on InstantELLA.

So, keeping this in mind, here are a few critical chores, I believe, are connected to success and if taught to a child early enough, will develop positive & effective habits later on in their adult life. If you can get your kids to do these willingly & correctly on their own by age 12 (if not before), count yourself lucky

Making the Bed: Setting Goals

Here’s what making your bed (or not) reveals about your personality

This is the first opportunity for success every morning. It’s the first task that is presented to the child when he/she wakes up & often signals their response or how they will react towards other activities throughout the day.

I remember teaching & explaining the importance of making the bed to my sons (now age 10 and 12) a few years ago. They share a room and have bunk beds. The older one is on the top bunk. Initially the younger one would forget but eventually has got into the rhythm of making his bed. Every time I asked ‘boys, are your beds made?’ the answer was always ‘yes!’ I thought my job was done. The older one started off strong but I recently discovered he’s been shoving his blanket out of sight, behind a huge body pillow. Since he’s on the top bunk, it’s hard to notice the bed isn’t made the way he was taught and supposed to do it. When questioned, he had no excuse for not making his bed. What possible good did he achieve by not doing the right thing? Was there anything more urgent he needed done instead & why did he not come back later to finish his bed?  Was he also giving his teachers the slip with homework or assignments, was he slipping up elsewhere by taking what he thinks is the easy way out? Was this laziness or slyness? These were questions I had to ask him because I had to make him see that they were not good qualities to have in the world of adults or when he worked his first paid job.

What I realized is that unlike my younger son, the older one for some reason, finds it hard to set goals and rules for himself. He finds it difficult to follow goals others may have laid down too (like making the bed). So, he’ll need more time or guidance. But in the process, I’m hoping that making the bed will teach him to set goals in life because that’s important.

Taking out the Trash – Solving Problems, Starting Anew

What Japan can teach us about cleanliness

My husband & I were watching a few minutes of Jerry Seinfeld’s standup comedy last night where he talked about an object’s journey to becoming junk, how everything in a house is  pre-trash stage, eventually on its way to becoming junk. eBay is a newer concept of people transferring trash from one person to another. And while the jokes made us laugh, it’s also kind of true. Getting rid of trash is necessary & needs to be done routinely. Physical trash if unattended to, causes disease. For me, a messy room is also a messy mind. I cannot concentrate with mess around me. Mess inhibits creativity & so, the process of cleaning up the house, taking out the trash is rejuvenating & cathartic.

For kids, taking out the trash can serve as a lesson i.e. It’s ok to make mistakes & it’s ok when things don’t work out the way you expect, but it’s important to understand that mistakes, like cleaning up trash, can be fixed and that every time you fix something, the possibility of starting a new will always be available! There’s no need to feel bogged down with childish worries and let the trash pile up. Taking out the trash is always the solution

Taking care of the Pet: Love & Responsibility

5 Ways to Help Your Pets Stay Healthy and Strong in 2019

My sons have had hermit crabs as pets for 3 years now. The first pair died & we replaced them. The replaced crabs are still with us and the credit of keeping them alive (this time) goes to my older son. He has a connection with animals. He even feeds & pets the neighborhood cat who’s started to visit us regularly.

Looking after a pet, gives the child a sense of purpose. It has developed nurturing qualities in my son. He loves his pet and knows he plays a big role in keeping them clean, happy & fed. Having a pet, I believe, teaches a child to look beyond themselves and towards other’s needs. The world could use a bit more of that

Doing their Laundry: Planning & Hard work

Cleaning Skills to Teach Your Children

‘Laundry’. My husband shudders at that word and so do I sometimes. Not only is it chaotic, rule-bound, painstaking and time-consuming, but the thought of the number of sweaters that shrunk & ‘whites’ that became off white at their best and discolored at their worst, makes me want to cry.

Now, imagine your kids doing their own laundry.

Why should you create this nightmare for them? Why, when the load is heavy and it involves rules & using chemicals and an electronic washing machine that could get damaged? The answer – to root out laziness and teach your kid about hard work, planning & responsibility.

My kids used to have a gala time switching out clothes throughout the week, like it was a fashion show, with no regard about who took care of doing the laundry, folding their clothes or making sure they had a neatly organized closet. So, at first, I made them only fold their clothes & put them away. And boy did they grumble about that but it taught them, at least, to be more responsible about rotating their clothes & keeping their closet clean. Then I began to notice my younger one getting both mentally & physically lazy, refusing to think logically, and putting up a resistance to do any kind of work (except make his bed). So, I decided to make him responsible for all laundry in his room, including his brother’s. This would involve being aware when to do the laundry, washing, drying, setting timers on the machine, deciding how much detergent & water to load, separating clothes, making sure the machine and laundry room was clean & everything in place when he was done, bringing the laundry up to his room & then folding all the clothes and putting them away. The task truly is exhausting. On a weekday, he’d need to balance his schoolwork and sports and find the time to do all of this.

Skip to 6 months later! My little guy is a pro at laundry, he maintains good grades at school & has a great willingness towards work. No complaints whatsoever. He thinks critically and even plans his day and tasks ahead on his own with little guidance from us. I’m so proud of him, eager to see what he’s capable of. And we owe it all to ‘doing the laundry’. Since he doesn’t seem to be lazy anymore & that issue is resolved, I felt there wasn’t a need for him to continue doing the Laundry .I’m now making his older brother do it and let’s just say, I’m looking forward to the end of another 6 months to see if this experiment takes similar roots!

Putting together a simple meal: Gratitude & Survival

2 Questions You Should Ask Your Kids at Dinner

I can write a book on how ungrateful kids are about homecooked meals. From eating excruciatingly slowly, to wasting their food, to not saying ‘thank you’ when served their meals to comments like ‘I can eat a whole lot at olive garden’ and ‘ why can’t we have more of that ravioli (store bought, frozen or out of a can) like we do at grandmas?”…. these are all signs of the sense of entitlement a child has towards food. It’s common, we may have done it when we were kids and we’ve all heard about the starving children in Africa & Asia and why we shouldn’t waste food. But let’s face it, when we grew up, we very quickly and painfully discovered that life isn’t a buffet and neither are our meals.

Sure, fast-food tastes great but so does every other unhealthy food and Olive Garden is heaven on a plate but isn’t sustainable every day, even on a 6-figure salary!

More importantly, it’s not just irritating for the parents but every time a child acts difficult with meals, he/she is unnecessarily obsessing about the food, making himself/herself a slave to it and preventing himself/ herself from moving on to other more creative thoughts and activities. At no rate would I ever encourage a child’s ranting about meals.

So, it boils down to being grateful for what you have and if you’re not happy with it at least learn to fix it on your own, like a little adult. And here’s where my suggestion of a child learning to  put together a simple meal comes in. Example – boiling/ frying eggs, cooking rice, brewing tea/ coffee, cutting veggies, tossing a salad, learning how to operate an oven so you can grill/ bake fish & veggies on a try. I taught my kids to do it all last summer with the intention that one day in the week, they prepare a homecooked, healthy dinner for the family & their father & I will eat it without grumbling. That is yet to happen but on a daily basis, they do put together their own lunches to take to school – PB or ham sandwiches, cut fruit, crackers & other snacks.

There’s always a post its reminder on the cabinet door in case they may forget how to do lunch, but I relieved to confidently know if ever my husband or I leave the kids on their own, they will not starve or wait to get the next meal served to them. Often, they ask if they can help with dinner & I take that as a sign that they are beginning to understand & appreciate the love & work that goes into preparing a meal.

Choosing their outfits: Awareness

4 Reasons Why Your Kids Should Pick Out Their Own Clothes

How you dress may say something about who you are, but how you carry yourself speaks volumes! That’s something I learnt as a little girl studying in a convent. We had a uniform but there were other standards governing how we did our hair, wore our socks, polished our shoes and managed our fingernails. Times have changed, true, but that discipline has stayed with me till this day. It’s something I’ve tried to instill in my boys.

By encouraging them to choose their own outfits for school, I’m teaching them that they are responsible for how they want to represent themselves to others. Not only are they enjoying discovering their own styles, they also know that different occasions call for different attire. Casual sporty school clothes & sneakers are not appropriate for a more reverent occasion like attending Sunday Mass. The clothes they wear also serve as a physical cue or awareness as to where they are and how to behave.

This will prepare them for how to get on in the real work environment.

Doing the Dishes: Service & Discipline

Dear Kids: Do Your Own Damn Dishes

Like taking out trash, washing the dishes and cleaning up after meals is a necessary activity. There’s no escaping it in the adult world, so kids might as well get a head start. This chore is especially helpful to solve the problem of children who are slow eaters – the last one who finishes eating gets to clean up. And while they are ‘cleaning up’ perhaps they could do a little introspection to see how they can improve themselves to avoid a repeated episode of dish-washing. The truth is, like I said at the start, it’s not something that can be avoided as an adult.

An easy childhood, without chores, accountability or responsibility may be fun in the short term, but could lead to a more difficult & challenging life as an adult. My point to this litany of chores and why kids should do them is this: Learning how to cope!

Life is a juggling act. It’s all about coping & multitasking. The more self-reliant you are, the less you have to depend on people and situations. You can better control the outcome and you have a better grip on life. That’s when you stop coping and start living successfully and what parent doesn’t want that for their kid.. So, while other members of the family may dote on your child, it’s your primary job as a parent to teach your child to cope, to become self-reliant as quick as possible!

The post Raising Success – 7 Chores You Kids Should Be Doing & Why appeared first on InstantELLA.

I’m not sure how many of you reading this, like me, have often thought about whether to even make resolutions at all. We make resolutions, sometimes grand ones – losing weight, going vegan, pursuing a different hobby or learning a new skill, getting a passport, travelling the world (you get the drift) – only to break them or worse still not even give them a go before giving up all together. And that’s ok.

This year, I told myself, I’d take my time formulating resolutions.  Instead of a time bound, tangible resolution (like  the ones mentioned above), I’d concentrate on improving my mindset, daily – as means to an end – which will assist me in achieving those time bound, tangible, resolutions. Here are some of my practical New Year 2020 Daily Resolutions:

Patience & Perseverance

The Unconventional Ways You Can Relax The Mind And The Body

In this generation of instant gratification, having patience is a rare commodity. As a mother, wife & professional I get impatient & frustrated easily & on a daily basis when things don’t go my way or when tasks are not completed in the time, I consider appropriate. My anxiety doesn’t help either. So, I’ve decided to be more patient with myself for starters. I’ve decided to do my best, be less judgmental of people & situations and persevere.

Obedience, Without Question or Grumbling

5 Resolutions You Can Actually Keep In The New Year

Someone asks you to do something that you know sounds like a good idea. But you don’t think too hard about it, you don’t obsess over what could potentially go wrong or how you’d look doing it. You just say ‘Yes’ (with a smile). Oh! How liberating to not worry for once & just go with the flow. For me, it’s so far helped saved time, precious time I am no using to focus on creativity & execution.

Generosity of Time, Words  & Actions

A Healthy Office Environment

Easy to understand, difficult to execute. Being generous with my deeds & an attitude of service to others has always come naturally to me. It’s the generosity of my words & time that I have a tough time with. I’m naturally feisty & sarcastic. And as for time, it’s the one thing none of us have control over, so I am very stingy with mine. But though we can never control – shorten or lengthen – real time, we can also choose how & who to spend time with it and therein lies the generosity. I’ve been more generous with my time lately & it’s brough blessings on my family, friends & me!

Avoiding Acedia

Mood, Anxiety, and Design

Acedia, often linked to sloth and the 7 Deadly Sins is “a state of (mental) restlessness and inability either to work or to pray”. Whereas Sloth is physical laziness, Acedia is more of a metal indifference, intrusive thinking & purposefully distracting yourself with other thoughts or actions, to avoid dealing with a priority. Controlling the mind is harder than controller the body.  I’ve been guilty of this several times, knowingly or unknowingly, throughout the day. But now that I know what Acedia is, I’m more aware & guarded in my thoughts. It’s given me more clarity to prioritize my tasks throughout the day & directly helped me complete the right kind of work in the right time.

Withdraw from Social Media

Self-Motivation: How To Ensure Productivity While You Work From Home

I cringe at this one as I’m sure most of us do. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube & the rest have taken over our lives! Wrong. We’ve let them. Locking up phones, temporarily deactivating Social media accounts & taking technology detox breaks are good ways to break the habit. Recently however, someone suggested another solution & probably the best one I’ve heard so far. Every time I think of reaching for my phone, I look at the person next to me instead & engage with that person, instead of a lifeless phone!

An Attitude of Gratitude

The Neuroscience of Gratitude and How It Affects Anxiety & Grief

Toughie! Many scientific studies have show than being more grateful has a physical impact on a person’s brain and is directly linked to increased calm and a sense of happiness. That said most of us are ungrateful throughout the day, when we complain about our jobs, problems with co-workers, the never-ending chores at home, even simple things like not enjoying our meals, or the way we spend our relaxation time. Complaining & being dissatisfied are symptoms of an ungrateful attitude. But everyday is a new day and an opportunity for me to be more grateful!

Open-Mindedness

How Great Leaders Align Their Company With Their Vision

Simply put, this involves being receptive to a wide variety of ideas, arguments, and information. For me being open minded means, giving up the impulse to react immediately and instead listen & assess a person or situation. It was hard at first, because my natural habit to interject kicked in. But I realized open-mindedness  is a necessary ability in order to think critically and rationally. It’s a habit that needs to be cultivated and we’re never too old to develop good habits

Daily examination of Conscience

4 Ways To Practice Self-Care Today

This practice is common as a spiritual exercise among Christians and Catholics and involves a ‘review of one’s past thoughts, words, actions, and omissions for the purpose of ascertaining their conformity with, or deviation from, the moral law’. I don’t see why this practice cannot be applied to our secular, everyday lives. It would be similar to a year end job review – what are the things we did well, how can we improve on our weaknesses and what would the outcome look like? I believe a daily examination of conscience will eventually make me a better version of myself. This doesn’t only have to be for adults, so I’ve also begun to help my kids adopt this positive practice.

If you enjoyed reading this or agree that some of these are areas of concern for you that could use a bit of improvement, feel free to adopt some or all of my New Year 2020 Daily Resolutions for yourself. Remember to be kind to yourself. I for one, am rooting for you. Good Luck!

The post 2020 Unconventional New Year’s Resolution for a New Decade appeared first on InstantELLA.

1. Thankful Tree

Gratitude and giving thanks is what this holiday is all about. Try this fun little thankful tree from The DIY Mommy this Thanksgiving season. Let your littles explore outside for the perfect fallen branch to be the base for their tree. Find a cute bucket or vase to place it in, filled with marbles, moss or dirt. Help them cut out leaves on which they can write down the things they are thankful for. Hang the leaves on the tree and you’re done! You can even have your child think of one thing they are thankful for each day and add a leaf every day.

2. Paint Chip Turkey

This is a fun one. Pick up some paint chips from the store, or let your kids pick out some color. Then use those for the turkey’s tail feathers. Have your kids write or draw what they are thankful for on the paint chips. You can pull these out at the Thanksgiving dinner table to have each child read off what they are thankful for this year. Find the full tutorial at Preschool Alphabet.

3. Wreath of Gratitude

Make a wreath with your child like this one from Parents.com. Pick up some colored paper and a styrofoam wreath from the dollar store. Have your kids write down or draw what they are thankful for and pin their leaves to the wreath. You could even go on a nature hike and find real leaves to add to this project.

4. Thankful Dry Erase Boards

With this craft, let your child pick out a picture frame and frame a paper that says “Today I am thankful for…” with some space to write what they are thankful for. Each day have them write down with a dry erase marker what they are thankful for. Let them decorate the frame with pompoms, glitter, leaves, or whatever their little minds can imagine. You can find some free printables for this craft at Bren Did.

5. Thankful Pie

With this fun craft, all you need are some paper plates, a bracket, paint (or markers), and something to write with. Turn one of the plates into a pumpkin pie with the paint, cut out a “piece” of the pie, and write the words “I am thankful for…”. On the bottom plate, have your child write the things they are thankful for. Attach both plates with a bracket in the center so they can turn the plates to show what they are thankful for each day.

6. Grateful Rocks

Find some rocks on a hike, or pick some up from a craft store, and let your child paint, write, or draw what they are thankful for on them. This is a great activity for the entire family to participate in. For a fun activity afterwards, you can even let your kids hide the rocks around the house (inside or outside) and try to find each other’s rocks. Find the tutorial for these rocks at Teach Kids Art.

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