So, keeping this in mind, here are a few critical chores, I believe, are connected to success and if taught to a child early enough, will develop positive & effective habits later on in their adult life. If you can get your kids to do these willingly & correctly on their own by age 12 (if not before), count yourself lucky

Making the Bed: Setting Goals

Here’s what making your bed (or not) reveals about your personality

This is the first opportunity for success every morning. It’s the first task that is presented to the child when he/she wakes up & often signals their response or how they will react towards other activities throughout the day.

I remember teaching & explaining the importance of making the bed to my sons (now age 10 and 12) a few years ago. They share a room and have bunk beds. The older one is on the top bunk. Initially the younger one would forget but eventually has got into the rhythm of making his bed. Every time I asked ‘boys, are your beds made?’ the answer was always ‘yes!’ I thought my job was done. The older one started off strong but I recently discovered he’s been shoving his blanket out of sight, behind a huge body pillow. Since he’s on the top bunk, it’s hard to notice the bed isn’t made the way he was taught and supposed to do it. When questioned, he had no excuse for not making his bed. What possible good did he achieve by not doing the right thing? Was there anything more urgent he needed done instead & why did he not come back later to finish his bed?  Was he also giving his teachers the slip with homework or assignments, was he slipping up elsewhere by taking what he thinks is the easy way out? Was this laziness or slyness? These were questions I had to ask him because I had to make him see that they were not good qualities to have in the world of adults or when he worked his first paid job.

What I realized is that unlike my younger son, the older one for some reason, finds it hard to set goals and rules for himself. He finds it difficult to follow goals others may have laid down too (like making the bed). So, he’ll need more time or guidance. But in the process, I’m hoping that making the bed will teach him to set goals in life because that’s important.

Taking out the Trash – Solving Problems, Starting Anew

What Japan can teach us about cleanliness

My husband & I were watching a few minutes of Jerry Seinfeld’s standup comedy last night where he talked about an object’s journey to becoming junk, how everything in a house is  pre-trash stage, eventually on its way to becoming junk. eBay is a newer concept of people transferring trash from one person to another. And while the jokes made us laugh, it’s also kind of true. Getting rid of trash is necessary & needs to be done routinely. Physical trash if unattended to, causes disease. For me, a messy room is also a messy mind. I cannot concentrate with mess around me. Mess inhibits creativity & so, the process of cleaning up the house, taking out the trash is rejuvenating & cathartic.

For kids, taking out the trash can serve as a lesson i.e. It’s ok to make mistakes & it’s ok when things don’t work out the way you expect, but it’s important to understand that mistakes, like cleaning up trash, can be fixed and that every time you fix something, the possibility of starting a new will always be available! There’s no need to feel bogged down with childish worries and let the trash pile up. Taking out the trash is always the solution

Taking care of the Pet: Love & Responsibility

5 Ways to Help Your Pets Stay Healthy and Strong in 2019

My sons have had hermit crabs as pets for 3 years now. The first pair died & we replaced them. The replaced crabs are still with us and the credit of keeping them alive (this time) goes to my older son. He has a connection with animals. He even feeds & pets the neighborhood cat who’s started to visit us regularly.

Looking after a pet, gives the child a sense of purpose. It has developed nurturing qualities in my son. He loves his pet and knows he plays a big role in keeping them clean, happy & fed. Having a pet, I believe, teaches a child to look beyond themselves and towards other’s needs. The world could use a bit more of that

Doing their Laundry: Planning & Hard work

Cleaning Skills to Teach Your Children

‘Laundry’. My husband shudders at that word and so do I sometimes. Not only is it chaotic, rule-bound, painstaking and time-consuming, but the thought of the number of sweaters that shrunk & ‘whites’ that became off white at their best and discolored at their worst, makes me want to cry.

Now, imagine your kids doing their own laundry.

Why should you create this nightmare for them? Why, when the load is heavy and it involves rules & using chemicals and an electronic washing machine that could get damaged? The answer – to root out laziness and teach your kid about hard work, planning & responsibility.

My kids used to have a gala time switching out clothes throughout the week, like it was a fashion show, with no regard about who took care of doing the laundry, folding their clothes or making sure they had a neatly organized closet. So, at first, I made them only fold their clothes & put them away. And boy did they grumble about that but it taught them, at least, to be more responsible about rotating their clothes & keeping their closet clean. Then I began to notice my younger one getting both mentally & physically lazy, refusing to think logically, and putting up a resistance to do any kind of work (except make his bed). So, I decided to make him responsible for all laundry in his room, including his brother’s. This would involve being aware when to do the laundry, washing, drying, setting timers on the machine, deciding how much detergent & water to load, separating clothes, making sure the machine and laundry room was clean & everything in place when he was done, bringing the laundry up to his room & then folding all the clothes and putting them away. The task truly is exhausting. On a weekday, he’d need to balance his schoolwork and sports and find the time to do all of this.

Skip to 6 months later! My little guy is a pro at laundry, he maintains good grades at school & has a great willingness towards work. No complaints whatsoever. He thinks critically and even plans his day and tasks ahead on his own with little guidance from us. I’m so proud of him, eager to see what he’s capable of. And we owe it all to ‘doing the laundry’. Since he doesn’t seem to be lazy anymore & that issue is resolved, I felt there wasn’t a need for him to continue doing the Laundry .I’m now making his older brother do it and let’s just say, I’m looking forward to the end of another 6 months to see if this experiment takes similar roots!

Putting together a simple meal: Gratitude & Survival

2 Questions You Should Ask Your Kids at Dinner

I can write a book on how ungrateful kids are about homecooked meals. From eating excruciatingly slowly, to wasting their food, to not saying ‘thank you’ when served their meals to comments like ‘I can eat a whole lot at olive garden’ and ‘ why can’t we have more of that ravioli (store bought, frozen or out of a can) like we do at grandmas?”…. these are all signs of the sense of entitlement a child has towards food. It’s common, we may have done it when we were kids and we’ve all heard about the starving children in Africa & Asia and why we shouldn’t waste food. But let’s face it, when we grew up, we very quickly and painfully discovered that life isn’t a buffet and neither are our meals.

Sure, fast-food tastes great but so does every other unhealthy food and Olive Garden is heaven on a plate but isn’t sustainable every day, even on a 6-figure salary!

More importantly, it’s not just irritating for the parents but every time a child acts difficult with meals, he/she is unnecessarily obsessing about the food, making himself/herself a slave to it and preventing himself/ herself from moving on to other more creative thoughts and activities. At no rate would I ever encourage a child’s ranting about meals.

So, it boils down to being grateful for what you have and if you’re not happy with it at least learn to fix it on your own, like a little adult. And here’s where my suggestion of a child learning to  put together a simple meal comes in. Example – boiling/ frying eggs, cooking rice, brewing tea/ coffee, cutting veggies, tossing a salad, learning how to operate an oven so you can grill/ bake fish & veggies on a try. I taught my kids to do it all last summer with the intention that one day in the week, they prepare a homecooked, healthy dinner for the family & their father & I will eat it without grumbling. That is yet to happen but on a daily basis, they do put together their own lunches to take to school – PB or ham sandwiches, cut fruit, crackers & other snacks.

There’s always a post its reminder on the cabinet door in case they may forget how to do lunch, but I relieved to confidently know if ever my husband or I leave the kids on their own, they will not starve or wait to get the next meal served to them. Often, they ask if they can help with dinner & I take that as a sign that they are beginning to understand & appreciate the love & work that goes into preparing a meal.

Choosing their outfits: Awareness

4 Reasons Why Your Kids Should Pick Out Their Own Clothes

How you dress may say something about who you are, but how you carry yourself speaks volumes! That’s something I learnt as a little girl studying in a convent. We had a uniform but there were other standards governing how we did our hair, wore our socks, polished our shoes and managed our fingernails. Times have changed, true, but that discipline has stayed with me till this day. It’s something I’ve tried to instill in my boys.

By encouraging them to choose their own outfits for school, I’m teaching them that they are responsible for how they want to represent themselves to others. Not only are they enjoying discovering their own styles, they also know that different occasions call for different attire. Casual sporty school clothes & sneakers are not appropriate for a more reverent occasion like attending Sunday Mass. The clothes they wear also serve as a physical cue or awareness as to where they are and how to behave.

This will prepare them for how to get on in the real work environment.

Doing the Dishes: Service & Discipline

Dear Kids: Do Your Own Damn Dishes

Like taking out trash, washing the dishes and cleaning up after meals is a necessary activity. There’s no escaping it in the adult world, so kids might as well get a head start. This chore is especially helpful to solve the problem of children who are slow eaters – the last one who finishes eating gets to clean up. And while they are ‘cleaning up’ perhaps they could do a little introspection to see how they can improve themselves to avoid a repeated episode of dish-washing. The truth is, like I said at the start, it’s not something that can be avoided as an adult.

An easy childhood, without chores, accountability or responsibility may be fun in the short term, but could lead to a more difficult & challenging life as an adult. My point to this litany of chores and why kids should do them is this: Learning how to cope!

Life is a juggling act. It’s all about coping & multitasking. The more self-reliant you are, the less you have to depend on people and situations. You can better control the outcome and you have a better grip on life. That’s when you stop coping and start living successfully and what parent doesn’t want that for their kid.. So, while other members of the family may dote on your child, it’s your primary job as a parent to teach your child to cope, to become self-reliant as quick as possible!

The post Raising Success – 7 Chores You Kids Should Be Doing & Why appeared first on InstantELLA.

Of course, the largest influencer in the decision is finances. If you don’t have the money for it, you won’t be able to buy a home, plain and simple. You’ll need a large enough income to cover a mortgage, plus homeowner’s insurance, and other expenses like utilities and an HOA fee.

But money isn’t the only deciding factor. When it comes to buying a home, you need to also account for your lifestyle, future career changes, your goals and dreams, whether you are ready to settle down or not, and more when making the choice.

Are You Ready to Settle Down?

9 Questions To Ask Before Buying Your First Home

Buying a place, whether it’s a condo, a home, or something else, is a way of settling down for a long time. When you rent a place, you can move away after the contract is up, or even leave during your contract period for a fee. When you buy a home, you can’t just up and leave, you have to sell the place first. Depending on where you live, that could be somewhat easy or very difficult, but usually you are looking at around a 3 to 6 month process.

If you aren’t ready to make a commitment to living in a specific area or city, or think your career might take you to other places, buying a home is not right for you. Renting gives extra flexibility to be able to up and leave at a moment’s notice and move across a city or the world. If your job or even personal preferences mean moving from place to place on a regular basis, don’t buy a place, rent.

Similarly, if you want to see the world, or live in exotic places, don’t buy a home. Pursue those dreams and put your extra money towards them instead of putting it in savings for a home. Get the travel bug out now, because once you have a home, it becomes a lot harder to spend a few months backpacking through Europe.

Comfortable with Home Maintenance?

19 Things a New Homeowner Should Do Immediately to Save Money

When renting a place, if something in the home breaks, you can call the landlord to fix it. Leaky sink? Call them up to contact a plumber for you. Wasps building a nest outside your front door? It’s your landlord’s job to get rid of them.

But when you buy a home, all of these problems, and more, become your responsibility. If you are swimming in cash, then sure, you can call specialists for each problem that needs fixing, but that’s probably not the case. That means getting comfortable with fixing things when they break and managing disasters when they strike. These are all things to keep in mind when looking at homes for sale on a Saturday afternoon.

Another point to consider if you are buying your first home, is whether to buy a fixer-upper home or spend more to get something nicer and newer. A new home will cost more, but have less maintenance needs and costs. A fixer-upper though will have more updating and maintenance, meaning you’ll need to be comfortable working on the home.

Making a Place Your Own

DECORATING MISTAKES FIRST-TIME HOMEOWNERS MAKE

While having to perform maintenance on a home is kind of a bummer, there is a major upside of not having a landlord: You have complete control over the home. There is no landlord telling you not to hang pictures using nails, prohibiting burning candles, or requiring permission to paint the walls. You can do whatever crazy things you want when you own a home, short of violating HOA standards in your neighborhood. To begin your quest to find a home, search online for ‘homes for sale in mount vernon il‘, or set to your preferred location.

Want to paint every wall hot pink? Go for it. Any type of home renovations or improvements are yours to do. That can be as small or large as you want, ranging from a simple paint job to knocking down walls. Home improvements don’t even have to be costly, just be smart about how you do them and you can make your home look great on a budget.

If you’re tired of living under the thumb of a super controlling landlord, consider buying your own home. That way, you have nobody to answer to but yourself (…and maybe the other people you live with).

Taking the Leap, Buying a Home

The Start-to-Finish Guide to Buying a Home

Again, the most important factor in buying a home is finances. If you don’t have the income to cover a mortgage and extra home-owner costs, don’t buy a place. But if you can afford it, have a stable income, and the renting life is starting to become too much to bear, buying a home might be the solution.

Don’t let your first time owning a home become a headache. Plan ahead for everything, from the home buying process, to having a stress free move, to deciding early on what kind of remodels and decoration to do. That way, everything goes as smoothly as possible, and you can quickly adjust to the homeowner lifestyle.

The post How to Know Whether You Are Ready to Buy a Home or Keep Renting appeared first on InstantELLA.

10 Ways to Be More Environmentally Friendly

To help us help you, our friends at BiologiQ, manufacturers of eco-friendly plastic resin pellets, have put together this list of tips for becoming more environmentally aware this fall.

Burning

Fall is the season for burning, whether it’s a bonfire, your wood stove, or burning your trash. Keep these two things in mind the next time you go to start that fire: only burn dry wood and never use burn barrels for trash or debris.

Never burn damp wood because it doesn’t burn completely and can release more pollutants in the air. These pollutants will settle around your home, or the site where you are burning, and have been known to cause asthma and other respiratory diseases. Burn wood that has been drying for at least 6 months to ensure that it is completely dry.

Don’t use burn barrels. They don’t burn efficiently and release a lot of smoke toxins, especially if you aren’t burning clean materials. Instead, try to recycle paper, plastic and glass materials; donate old clothing, and grind up old branches and leaves into a mulch or compost for your yard.

Always be aware of your state’s laws regarding burning and burn bans as well. These are set in place not only to prevent wildfires, but to help keep pollution down as well.

Donating Items

Does anyone use the fall as a time to clean out storage? Are you throwing out old toys, clothes, or other items you’ve replaced throughout the year?

Don’t just throw these items away. For one, they take up landfill space, and for two, valuable resources were used to produce those items, so by donating them to someone who needs them those resources are saved.

If you have clothing that your kids have grown out of, dishes you’ve replaced, old toys, find a place to donate them. Homeless shelters and rehabilitation centers are always looking for items to be donated. Search your community to see where that need lies and take in your donation.

If you have other items, like leftover building materials, paint, wood, pallets, nails, etc. there is a place to donate those things too. All it takes is a quick Google search to find where you can send the items that you want to get rid of. Not only will you help the environment, but you can feel good knowing you helped people in need too.

Conserving Energy

One of the leading causes of greenhouse gases that contributes to global climate change is energy production from coal, oil and natural gas. So, conserving and reducing energy usage will only help to lessen that pollution.

5 ways to become more environmentally-friendly for your New Year’s resolution

Some ways you can easily conserve energy in your home are through home heating, hot water, and lights and appliances.

When heating your home, reduce the temperature of the thermostat one degree at a time until you reach a temperature you and your family can be comfortable with – wearing sweaters or blankets to stay cozy. At times when you are away from your home, set the thermostat even lower – about 55 or lower.

Keeping hot water use limited. Take shorter showers, wash your clothes in cold water, and install low-flow showerheads and faucets. You can also turn the temperature on your water heater down or try a solar water heater system.

How To Be More Environmentally Conscious

Turn off the lights when you leave the room. This really does save energy. Use energy efficient light bulbs, turn off appliances and other electronics like computers and printers when they aren’t in use for a long time.

Keep these tips with you this fall as you go about preparing for holidays and family reunions. Help create a better world through these small and simple deeds.

The post 3 Environmentally Friendly Tips for the Fall appeared first on InstantELLA.

Don’t be overwhelmed just yet. If you play your cards right, summer vacations can be a time of fun, learning and rediscovery of your own youth! Here’s how you do it.

Create a Routine

It does not end with planning a drive down to the beach or renting the perfect beach-house getaway. I’d recommend chalking out a schedule, planner or routine of activities even before summer starts. That way you will not only be prepared on day #1 but you would have been able to pre-register and save a spot for all those outdoor summer activities as well, you know what they say about the early bird. Obviously, having a plan would also ensure you’re making the best use of time and opportunities during this vacation.

A quick tip on planning the summer for your kids – include a mix of activities because children get bored easy and love variety. While a large part of summer is about the kids, it’s not all about them. Remember that you need to be relaxed and having fun too. Don’t cram your calendar with activities 24/7. Not only will that burn you out (and may burn out the kids too) but it leaves no room for re-adjustment or tweaking, and that’s no fun! Lol. Take on only as much as you’ll logically be able to handle and save room for downtime.

Having said that here are a couple of activities you and your kids can include in your summer routine.

Interactive Learning

Summer is all about Fun and so is Interactive Learning.  It involves a PC, tablet or other devices, interactive software, immediate answers to queries, virtual rewards and badges/ titles for performance and even online competitions. Sound like a video-game? Yes, because it pretty much is and that is exactly why kids find it so much fun. Except they’re learning along the way too.

American educational technology companies like IXL, through their online tools and website, offer students a chance to practice educational material. Often affiliated and recommended by the Public-School System, they provide students an engaging yet focused environment in which to excel. Sign-ups are free, through the affiliated school and students like my kids can use them throughout the year. Hint: even during summer

Registering your kid(s) at the Local Library’s online Summer Reading Programme is another great example of interactive learning. These programmes include several other exciting activities that go along with reading. My kids, for example read “The giving Tree” and then completed the lesson by planting a sapling in our backyard. They also enjoyed building their original Legos after reading a book on Lego design; and made their own tin can- robots after attending a book reading at the library which focused on robots and machines. Find IT Virginia and similar free online resources provide opportunities for e-reading and learning.

The possibilities are truly endless and I would have killed to have these opportunities growing up, but am happy my kids have them now. Better late than never.

The great outdoors

Physical activity is as important as mental health. My husband and I start our day with a jog around the neighborhood, while the kids do 2 laps each on their bicycles. It doesn’t matter who beats who to the house first, but we all return awake, alive and hungry. Whoever gets home first kills time playing some good old-fashioned basketball outside.

We take it easier on the weekends and substitute the jogs and bike rides for a day of mini-golf, bowling or the park.

And while a trip to the beach is a must, if you’re looking for local activities, Facebook Events  and Groupon Coupons could be a good place to start. Explore local events and workshops , take the kids to the amusement and water parks or the local fare, state-parks and museums, buy putt-putt, laser-tag, roller-skating and arcade game coupons for the family on Groupon at a discounted rate. Save some money, Explore, and thou shall find!

And don’t forget, your own backyard can be an ideal place to spend some time – if you’ve got a pool, make sure you search for a pool service near me to keep it clean and hygienic, but even without a pool, your own outdoor space can be a fantastic place for some truly wonderful adventures. 

Help Around the House

With great fun comes serious responsibility. If you haven’t already, take this time to teach the kids the nuances of laundry, doing the dishes, helping fix a meal and generally cleaning up after themselves.  It will go a long way in teaching them responsibility and preparing them for success as adults. Initially, I used to get a lot of pushback from my kids. It started with the “do we have to?”  but after gentle persuasion it’s slowly shifting to “can I help?”. Why surely, you can!!

Get a Pet

Now’s as good a time as any to get a pet for your kids to play with. My kids brought home 2 hermit crabs – Hermie and Sebastian – from the beach this summer. They had been after us for a while to get them a dog or cat. Since these cute little crabs are low maintenance, we figured it would be a good compromise. The bonus is the kids learn a little responsibility. They have researched how to take care of the hermit crabs and decorated the crab tank on their own with minimum supervision from us adults. Who knows, if the crabs survive a couple years, they might earn their puppy or kitten one day.

Indoor Fun

Ever heard the phrases “What do I do now?” or “I’m bored” from your kid(s), implying that you as the adult, are automatically supposed to come up with a solution to fix the ‘boredom’? Not anymore. This year I invested in arts & crafts, board-games, books, Legos and DIY projects to keep the kids engaged and entertained all summer long.

Some of the more interesting games that both kids and adults can play include, Connect Four, Jenga, UNO, Scrabble, and Monopoly. These never get old. Lego building is another activity that the boys and my husband enjoy and have organized several competitions around them.

We have family game nights where in addition to playing board games we all descend into the basement for a game of Pool or tag team Video Gaming. Other nights we chill over Netflix. Choosing Trilogies and other movie series like Aliens, The Godfather or Star Wars may work well during the summers when you can watch the series back to back and the kids don’t have school the next day.

Execute the Routine

Having created a schedule, it’s important to execute. The easiest way to do this is working as a team. After drafting the schedule, my husband and I discussed it with the kids to get their feedback and buy-in. Once everyone agreed, I had the kids replicate the schedule on a calendar in their room. Now they too share responsibility in keeping track of daily and weekly activities.

While some kids can be stubborn or rebellious, I honestly believe that all kids want structure and do well when given clear directions. Creating and executing a daily routine during the summers help build structure and discipline into the day. The kids have fun, parents can manage their time better and it’s a win-win all around. You know you’ve hit the nail on the mark when reminders and instructions become fewer and smiles and laughter greater!

Remember to have Fun!!

Summer comes along once a year and so it’s important to remember to have fun, irrespective of the activity on the routine. The routine is just a guideline meant to organize the day, not to limit fun. The routine should be flexible. If at some point activities need to be rescheduled, removed or added to the plan, go ahead and make alterations to the routine. As long as everyone is on-board and having fun, you’ll be fine.

It’s been just a few weeks of summer for my kids. Not only have I survived, but I must admit I’m actually looking forward to the weeks ahead. My secret lies in creating a balanced routine that includes having all out fun while learning, growing, being creative and unlocking hidden talents together!

The post Beach More, Worry Less : Smart Tips & Activities To Keep Kids Engaged This Summer appeared first on InstantELLA.